My life has been a series of events both unique and uncanny, that most people would externally dream about.

I have excelled in sports. I was popular in high school. I was a lady’s man. I was recognized with various awards and accommodations from the Marine Corps. I was combat wounded twice and medically retired. I traveled the country on a motorcycle. The entirety of my life prior to spirituality, I was always the life of the party and the highlight of the bar.

And then, one day it didn’t work anymore. These external validations never filled the internal fully. They always left a space. A little crack that started the chasm. This chasm separated what was externally appealing to me, and what I internally needed to sanctify the temple of my own soul. Externally I was always smiling and well put together. Inside, though, I was the sad clown- smiling to the world and living in internal despair.

Now, I live the opposite way, ha. Now I no longer care what people think: how I dress, speak or act. The difference now is that chasm, that chasm gets smaller daily. The gap between what I think I ought to be, and what I am, lessens. The truth of the realization that everything is one and we simply dance this cosmic dance until the music stops is the bridge between the two sides. That premise shows me I am enough, I am needed. I am worthy.

Perhaps there are people out there that would think my current situation of life is a life they have dreamed of as well. I don’t see it that way, though. I see it as an evolutionary process. I live, as we all do, in the temple of devotion that is within this sanctuary of skin and bones. This body is where I serve. Which each fortification of this structure of God that is dwelling within me, I gain more reassurance. More trust. More LOVE.

Soon, I can see, this human temple of Bhagavan will be completed. Anyone that is weary, anyone that needs a spot of comfort to rest, can find it within me- and within themselves. Every single one of us can find this happiness. Contentment. Joy. FREEDOM.

Truly, I am nothing and nobody special. I’m just a dude that has been gifted a human birth and has found Grace from the Guru. The Guru is the idea beyond all ideas. The Being beyond all human comprehension. The Guru chooses to continue to eradicate the causes of worry and fear within this world. And that, that is something absolutely beautiful.

Renunciation is an internal process. True renunciation occurs from within. All external renunciation does is create a fallacy of attachment within your own being. When that internal matches the Truth, that is when external renunciation fully occurs. That process is like watching billions of unique snowflakes fall from a crisp, blue winter sky onto our beloved Earth. It’s mesmerizing.

Thank you all for being here for, and with, me. And for allowing me to share these joys. These notes. These ballads of sheer appreciation for our Guru. It is something that I deeply cherish, and will continue to cherish: both in this life and the next.

Om Ram Ramaya Namah. Jai Gurudev.

Shri Ganga Das ji Maharaj is a sadhu and a Sanyasi in the Ramanandi Sampradaya. He currently lives and serves at a Mandir outside of Baltimore, and also travels giving dharma talks and spiritual lectures.